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Joke of the Day

"Lost an electron Really gotta keep an ion them."

"How do you fit an elephant in a teacup? You take the f out of way. ~~say it out loud if you don't get it~~"

"If you fall, I'll be there. --- the floor."

"Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness."

"Why did the cow explode? Because it was a mooooooslim."

"Why don't anteaters get sick? Because they're full of anty-bodies !"

"*travels back to 1930's* okay and that's why you've got to kill hitler FBI: wait so you can just look at naked lady videos anytime you want"

"A policeman sees two boys, one with batteries, the other with fireworks He charges the first boy and lets the other off."

"I'll never understand the appeal of TV shows about food. To me that's like listening to the Victoria Secret Fashion Show on the radio."

"What's the difference between an alcoholic and a necrophiliac? One goes to the bar for a cold one. The other goes to a morgue."