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Joke of the Day

"I have been taking notes So if you are missing notes, I probably have them"

"Got kicked out of the grocery store. Apparently yelling ""LET THE BEETS DROP!"" And throwing them at the ground is not acceptable."

"A really sad man committed suicide by crushing himself with a vending machine He was soda pressed."

"What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Roberto"

"Tissues are for tearful issues and for when people think it's funny but it's snot."

"Yesterday, I subscribed to Bigflix ...And now my new favorite word starts with a P and ends with O R N... That's ""Popcorn""!! What were you thinking you pervert!!!"

"My idea of flirting is giving a girl 1 of my 10 tacos."

"I installed a skylight in my apartment. The people living above me are furious."

"Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel glad to be alive? I just did and I won't be allowed on this airline again"

"How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know... I broke the lightbulb after I threw the first one."