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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Christmas and the Great Marianas Turkey Shoot? At Christmas, there's a nip in the air."

"My car dealer will subtract the number of upvotes from my purchase price. When I spend more than $100 000"

"Sweaters aren't the only garment named after a gross bodily function... There's wind breakers, too"

"At midnight, thousands of people will be at Times Square to witnesss Ryan Seacrest's balls drop."

"Who invented King Arthur's Round Table? Sir Cumference!"

"One of my last days in town and my girlfriend asks me what I want to do, and I say we could just sit around. She says what will we sit around?"

"I'm so lucky that I get to wake up every day and do what I love. (eat)"

"What do you call a wizard holding a teacup? A saucer-er!"

"I was thinking of getting myself Cryogenically frozen but now I have cold feet"

"What do you call a man with a large flatfish on his head? Ray!"