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Joke of the Day
"At what point in potty training do you give the child a toy smartphone?"
Next Joke
"Whose parrot sits on his shoulder shouting ""Pieces of four""? Short John Silver!"
"I'm thinking of re-releasing my old tweets in 3D."
"Best goldfish joke ever told Two goldfish were in their tank. One turned to the other and said, ""You man the guns; I'll drive."""
"[g/friends dad] ""who in your opinion is the greatest football player of all time?"" Me - [say a real name say a real name] ""Football Man"""
"Once you understand they're unwilling time travelers dropped here moments earlier, the confused actions of squirrels suddenly make sense."
"Did you hear about the wooden horse? Wooden poop."
"MURDERER: [looking for me] You better of hidden well or you're dead ME: [under bed, tears in my eyes] It's better HAVE"
"A man and a woman walk into a bar..."
"I like to knock on random doors and say, ""Hi, my name is Current Resident and I understand you're the bastard that's been opening my mail."""