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Joke of the Day
"Hipsters only know their weight in Instagrams."
Next Joke
"What is Bill Clinton's favorite instrument? The Whore-Monica"
"How do you make a female chemist feel self conscious? Ask if her hair is an extensive property"
"Q: Why didn't Count Dracula get married? A: He wanted to remain a bat-chelor."
"When her friend visits, my 2yr old just wants to hug her a lot... & keep her away from the toys. I feel that way about my friends & my vodka"
"What do you call a swimming hole in the middle of a farm? A rural pool."
"The Bermuda Triangle A.K.A.... Clinton's Inbox"
"Why will the artist formerly know as Prince only hire former FBI agents as his house maids? Because they must be able to ""dust for Prince"" I'll see myself out now"
"I like my coffee like I like my..... women: ground up and in the freezer."
"How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb? Ten: one to screw it in and nine to say, ""Pssh, I can do that."""