128172

Joke of the Day

"My colleagues call me the pussy slayer... I'm in charge of euthanising cats at the kennel."

"Dad tells his son to vacuum *hears son lazily vacuuming * dad:do it properly, if I wanted to hear loud noises but nothing being done I'd go to a feminist rally"

"I want to invent an intravenous drug. I will name it Lord's Name, and people will be taking the Lord's Name in vein."

"just Facebook stalked the sister of the new boyfriend of the last girl who dated my ex. I'm just as confused as you are"

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly your cock up someone's ass."

"What is a pirate's favorite fast food restaurant? Long John Silvers."

"My trainer said with enough sacrificing I could get a 6-pack. He's full of shit & I have 4 dead goats & 17 decapitated chickens to prove it."

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Don't be silly, glass ceilings don't have lightbulbs!"

"PRO TIP- Always watch your step on an escalator. I once tripped and fell down the stairs for an hour and a half"

"What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape"