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Joke of the Day

"I was accused of illegally downloading the entirety of Wikipedia I told them I could explain everything"

"Life Tip: If you're ever attacked by a shark, compliment his smile. Sharks are very vain and susceptible to flattery."

"I think they picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around!"

"Your overexposure to Korean pop music last year will be nothing compared to your overexposure to Korean nuclear radiation this year."

"What's the difference between a fort and a fortress? A fortress has breastworks."

"My friend claims that he is a really good boxer. He doesn't strike me as one."

"The only thing I have to say about Bristol Palin ""You're welcome."""

"Know how being wanted feels like? Just imagine how oil fields like"

"If you want to have sex with a frog, use a condom If you want to enjoy it, rib it"

"I lost my job at the hospital today for sexual assault.... It's not my fault that they put up a sign that said, 'stroke patients downstairs'."