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Joke of the Day

"*takes a puff of an E-Cigarette* yeah, I have all of Skrillex's albums on vinyl."

"Why do you see so many Bernie Posts on r/all? Because supporters of other candidates are out working or voting."

"They have a sea food place at Sea World. How morbid. What if I'm eating a slow leaner."

"Me: I'd like to report a disturbance. Police Dispatcher: Okay, where sir? Me: In the force, I can feel it."

"How I broke my cat's knees? With rude eyes."

"slowly adding more and more lead to your meals until you're immune to bullets"

"What did the zoo employee say to the big cat? ""Why you always lion?"""

"I set my GPS voice to Mom, and now when I miss a turn, it says ""Your sister wouldn't have missed that."""

"I'm sorry I whispered ""a weem a way"" over and over during your jungle safari slide show..."

"Couples who take too many fertility drugs should always put an asterisk next to their child's name to show that the parents used steroids."