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Joke of the Day

"So I have half a joke about a guy, Who is really shook up about his Parkinson's diagnosis... But I just cant quite put my finger on the punchline."

"After 10 missed calls in a row, I'm tempted to answer the phone just so I can find out who wants to be murdered."

"A man on the subway awoke to an early morning blowjob. He had left his mouth open while he was sleeping"

"Why did the illegal latinos all fail their English classes? They didn't turn in their eses."

"what do you call bees on halloween? boo bees"

"What's the difference between marmalade and jam? You can't marmalade your cock up your girlfriends ass."

"Pushed too hard against my eardrum with a Q-tip and reset my brain."

"Bought a sled on sale in Boston Got a real tobahgain."

"Whenever I test drive a car and the Salesman decides to come along, I lock the doors lock eyes and say ""We ride together, we Die together."""

"What do old lady vaginas smell like? Depends."