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Joke of the Day

"After 10 missed calls in a row, I'm tempted to answer the phone just so I can find out who wants to be murdered."

"What's the difference between feminists and hockey players? Hockey players shower after 3 periods."

"What do you call a Mexican child? A paragraph, because he isn't yet an ese."

"Did you hear about the new ""morning after"" pill for men? It changes your blood type."

"I'll believe self-help books work when I see a bunch of them on a sane person's bookshelf."

"Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother? He: My name is paul."

"I got new neighbors today, I hope they like my music as much as the last 9 families did."

"Why did the cheese get sent to the asylum? Coz 'e-mmental!"

"Feminists I'm not sure if this is a repost, but here it goes. Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Trick question, feminists can't change anything."

"Everyone's like ""the things I want for Christmas can't be bought."" And I'm like ""Legos. I want legos."""