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Joke of the Day
"It's gonna be a long day. I can wait to get home and curl up with a good Internet."
Next Joke
"What do a virgin and a used Prius owner have in common? Neither of them have had sex"
"Me: What's one thing you don't like about your girlfriend? Him: She doesn't swallow. Me: What? How does she eat?"
"I like to ask the waiter, ""What do you recommend?"" then stare at him angrily while I order something completely different."
"Whenever I get to a restaurant and they say there is a wait I say ""do you know who I am?"" because while I wait I like to be introspective"
"KNOCK KNOCK! WHO'S THERE! ***sombrero **** ^sombrero who,,,? *****SOMBRERO-VER THE RAINBOW****"
"A guy walks into a bar... Alcoholism is slowly destroying his family."
"How many Firefly fans does it take to change a light bulb? They wouldn't. They'd rather spend a decade bitching about how it went out."
"Rappers are terrible with pets: the Baja Men let their dogs out, DMX never knows where his dogs are at, and Pitbull is awful."
"What's an Islamist's favourite crop? Rice is."