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Joke of the Day

"Relationships are just anteing up on each other's crazy until one person decides the pot is too big and folds."

"A Baptist, a Mormon, and a Muslim walk into a bar... The Baptist says, ""What the hell are we doing here?"""

"Username walks into a hotel... And asks for a room. A few days later he leaves. I guess you could say, Username checks out."

"I have a talking pig stuck to my fridge. It's a Babe magnet."

"Why did the doctor quit his job? He ran out of patients."

"How do you make a dog stop humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick."

"Hi, Id like to buy a Nutri-Bullet, pls. Salesperson: Ah, nice. Off on a cleanse or health kick? Yes. *imagines drinking lasagna* For sure."

"How do you starve a black man? Put his food stamps in his work boots."

"If you want to change your life significantly just walk to the Mercedes-Benz 600 standing at the junction, take a brick and throw it into the windshield."

"What do you call someone who failed rehab? Back on crack"