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Joke of the Day

"Why did the angel lose her job? She had harp failure."

"The past, present and future walk into a bar It was tense"

"*horror movie ""The calls are coming from inside the house!"" ""Can you find out from where? I want some chips but I'm too lazy to get up."""

"You and a friend Jack go horse back riding. Jack is short and cannot get off his Horse. Would You help Jack Off His Horse!!??"

"Why can't you see a transgender who's a dad? Because he's a transparent. Apologies if I could've worded it different."

"Russian history: 5 word edition And then things got worse."

"I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist."

"[playing limbo at Gary's house] GARY: how low can you go? *i sleep with Gary's wife* GARY: wow, that is pretty low"

"From my gf Me: What are you planning on doing on MLK day? Her: I plan on sleeping all day Me: ...Why? Her: I want to have dreams too"

"Got roughed up in a Buenos Aires curry house.... .....found myself in a spot of argy-bhaji."