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Joke of the Day

"Did you know that Princess Di had really bad dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glovebox."

"Me: time for bed Brain: yeah I'm tired too M: really? wow we may actually get some slee- B: hey do you think anyone's died in this house?"

"How do dogs like their eggs cooked? Pooched."

"I went out last night with a group of enthusiastic weavers. Unfortunately they had to rush off to meet a looming deadline."

"What's the difference between a blowjob and pizza? Your mom never gave me pizza."

"Selling a vacuum has to be nearly impossible. They all suck."

"What do you call gigabytes in Africa? They can't afford computers in Africa."

"The 1920 Red Sox were completely ruthless..."

"What's a masturbator's favorite type of weather? Jack-it weather!"

"did your friends rob that bank? ""I'll never talk"" I forgot that you're prejudice against robbers ""what?!? some of my best friends rob banks"""