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Joke of the Day
"I hear you are what you eat Must be why I'm such a child"
Next Joke
"What does a mathematician do about constipation? Sits down and works it out with a pencil."
"The trouble with quotes on the internet. ""The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine."" - Abraham Lincoln."
"*takes a puff of an E-Cigarette* yeah, I have all of Skrillex's albums on vinyl."
"Woman on the Drive-Thru Speaker: Will there be anything else? Me: We just met."
"Barista: How do you take your coffee? Me: Orally."
"If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language? An American."
"Why does Jesus Jaywalk? Because he hates crosswalks"
"What did the nutrionist say to the zombies as they were breaking down the doors of a hospital in West Hollywood? ""Don't forget to eat your gays and invalids."""
"Did you guys hear that Ellen Degeneres died? Yeah, they found her face down in Ricki Lake."