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Joke of the Day

"[getting a massage] Me: I have tension in my lower back. *therapist begins* Me: Lower. Me: Lower. Th: But that's your a- Me: Lower!"

"The Final Jeopardy category is: Movies. The answer is: 300. The correct question is: on a scale of 1 to 10, how gay was that movie?"

"Apparently my facebook friend, Ashley, has a cat suffering from a horrible hairball. I'll be spending the day praying for it like she asked."

"What's the connection between the Star Trek Enterprise and toilet paper? They both travel around Uranus looking for Klingons."

"I've been trying to hide my erectile dysfunction from my girlfriend... But I just don't think I can keep it up for much longer."

"I drank too much water I'm going to pee for it later."

"I saw a Mexican fighting Jared Fogel I finally saw Alien vs Predator"

"They said when pigs fly.. But the swine already flu"

"Did you hear about the doctor who crossed a parrot with a vampire ? It bit his neck sucked his blood and said 'Who's a pretty boy then ?'!"

"What's Pink and Hard??? A Pig with a Flip Knife."