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Joke of the Day

"What's the connection between the Star Trek Enterprise and toilet paper? They both travel around Uranus looking for Klingons."

"My girlfriend just replied to my text saying she is up for a threesome tonight! Now I am anxiously waiting for my wife to reply."

"So apparently when a woman asks what you're looking for in a relationship, ""a way out"" isn't the right answer."

"How does Moses make tea? *Hebrews it*"

"With so many Americans upset with the candidates in the upcoming Presidential election, we should look on the bright side ... ... and please let me know what it is when you've found it."

"Not saying Lois Lane is a shitty reporter but my friend showed up without his glasses on today and I recognized him after like 20 minutes."

"I never wish death upon anybody who wrongs me. I wish sudden, explosive diarrhea while on a date Much more satisfying."

"What does a rabbi do when life gives him lemons? Makes hacidic jews"

"[OC] Where do all the cutest electrons hang out? A d orbital"

"A website that automatically plays music or needs to ""load"" is as outdated & terrible as slavery."