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Joke of the Day

"What's the name of the phobia for a fear of opening your mailbox because there might be a wedding invitation inside?"

"""See that guy over there? I have to serve him with papers today."" -Oh really? Why? ""Because I lost my tennis racquet."""

"I believe in God and have a sense of humor about it. But when you insist that makes me an idiot, you sound as tolerant as Mel Gibson."

"Wife: how was the doctor? Me: bad I'm dying Wife: I know, how was the doctor?"

"I think it's obvious that Goo Goo Dolls and Lady Gaga should do a side project together and call it Goo Goo Gaga."

"""It's a-WE, Mario."" - Peach, shortly before the divorce"

"Saw a link to this guy speaking Xhosa ..but I assumed it was just clickbait."

"Doctor doctor I keep thinking I'm a laptop computer. You're just run down let me give you some vitamins. No thanks. But I could do with some new batteries."

"What's the worst thing about eating vegetables? Putting them back in the wheelchair when you're done."

"Don't you hate it, when you offer someone help and the other person says yes"