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Joke of the Day

"Cell phone, I don't know why you keep capitalizing TEQUILA but I like the way you party."

"Some women are real drama queens during PMS They complain, shout, pout, argue, cry, sulk, call in sick, throw kitchen utensils ... ... I think they are just OVARYacting"

"I like girls who don't study. Because they want the D."

"Yoda asks: Afraid of 7, 9 is. Why? Because 6, 7 8."

"How to tell if you're wearing too much Axe: 1. Are you wearing Axe? No- Good. Yes- That's too much."

"A tangent applied for a credit card, but was denied. He couldn't find anyone willing to cosine."

"What do you do with an elephant with 3 balls? Walk him and pitch to the rhino."

"Why do baby birds love Amy Schumer's comedy? They can't handle anything that hasn't been consumed and regurgitated."

"[Gets Twitter error: ""Somehow, somewhere, something went wrong""] I know Twitter, I know. That's why I'm here."

"I've suffered from identity crisis since I was a little boy. I mean girl."