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Joke of the Day

"Driving a BMW is like show and tell every day. Where you're Showing off how small your penis is and you're Telling the world."

"Male porn stars are some of the hardest workers."

"All I wanna do is [gun shot noise] [cash register noise] [organ noise] [saxophone noise] [cow noise] [cat noise] Fix this broken synthesizer"

"A small village soup chef tried to make a bit of extra money on the side, selling boullion cubes laced with marijuana... It was the laughing stock of the whole town."

"What's big and purple and hugs your Easter basket? The Easter Barney!"

"Feudalism It's your count that votes."

"What's Hitlers most hated candy? Jewb jewbs"

"When I was younger MTV actually played videos. That's what the M stands for. Music. Not Maternity, Motherhood or Moron."

"Apparently ""some assembly required"" is IKEA for ""here's a beech tree and some nails."""

"Did you hear the one about the dad that said son if you keep masturbating you'll go blind! The son said dad I'm over here."