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Joke of the Day

"This morning I woke up to a tap on my front door. My plumber has a weird sense of humour."

"What do you call a stupid ant? Antwerp."

"I use words like ""acquiesce"" and ""ubiquitous"" in daily conversation and then I throw in a ""for reals yo"" just to stay mysterious."

"Netflix, stop making me wait 15 seconds between episodes. I can't click because I'm eating cereal and a sandwich."

"Trump will be President until 2020 It would have been 20:15, but the sniper got stuck in traffic..."

"What do you get when you mix a pickle and a deer? A dilldoe"

"How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? YOU WEREN'T THERE MAN!! - Shorty"

"I've stolen so much stuff from work that some of my colleagues now have to work at my house"

"What do you call a green polo shirt? Collared greens"

"If God is your co-pilot - swap seats."