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Joke of the Day

"I wanted to grill something good for watching today's horse race But my butcher didn't have any Belmont steaks"

"Did you hear about the gay dog? It was a Golden Receiver."

"With all these regulations and safety hazards about burgers... Rare meat is hard to find."

"Shit, I just wasted a good corn dog, by eating It with no guys around."

"Don't go to zombie nightclubs... They're always dead."

"what's the difference between my television and my wife? my friends wait til i'm home to use my television"

"The oldest written recipe is for beer. Even when most people couldn't read or write, they knew they had to mark that shit down somehow."

"I got my beautiful wife a lovely woolie hat and a coat for Christmas. She's gonna need it because I've just lost our house to gambling."

"do bird watchers not know about tv"

"I ask that my remains me kept in an urn... ...and whoever keeps the urn squirts some lotion in there periodically because you guys know I can't stand being ashy."