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Joke of the Day

"When I see couples madly in love, I just assume they met yesterday."

"""Don't believe everything you read"" is the best motto I've ever read. But I'm not sure if I should believe it or not. I'm so confused now."

"A blonde said to her friend while driving ""I got a compliment on my driving today,"" said a blonde to her friend. There was a note left on my windshield it said ""parking fine""."

"Did you hear the one about the man with a big procrastination problem? Eh, I'll tell you later."

"I don't have shit to say and"

"ME (wearing Tommy Hilfiger): ready to go? GF: not until u put on something less hideous TOMMY HILFIGER (climbs off me): that was unnecessary"

"What's the difference between the jokes from today and next week's jokes? The posters."

"I like my beer like i like my violence... Domestic"

"Why do we all need a Jew for a friend? Because he'll never give you a penny for your thoughts, he'll never put his two cents in, & he'll never drop a dime on you!"

"I just found a whip, a mask and handcuffs in my mom's bedroom. I can't believe it.. She's a superhero!"