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Joke of the Day

"Nothing says ""poor money management"" like a run down house with a 60 inch plasma screen in the living room."

"License and registration please. ""Bears."" Excuse me? ""Beaaaaars."" Are you drunk sir? ""BEAAAARS!"" Stop saying bea- *cop is mauled by bears*"

"Jokes What is a good bee joke"

"I have the memory of an elephant I went to the zoo last week, they only had one, he seemed pretty lonely :("

"USS Constitution aged Q: What was the USS Constitution's nickname after it started to rust? A: Old Iron Oxides This one just kind of popped into my head at work yesterday."

"Why did Henry VIII fail his classes? Because he lost all his Tudors."

"I only drink twice a year When it's my birthday, and when it's not"

"Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into a lens grinder? He made a spectacle out of himself."

"What is brown and gray has eight legs and is carrying a large trunk and a small trunk? A Chihuahua on vacation with an elephant."

"Q: ""How long were you at your last job?"" A: ""Seven-and-a-half inches... same as now"""