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Joke of the Day
"If Microsoft ever makes a product that doesn't suck... it will be a vacuum cleaner."
Next Joke
"What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph... Cause he's not a full ese"
"When my wife starts to sing I have to go out in the yard and work in the garden so the neighbors don't think domestic violence is happening."
"If I had a dollar for every gender that there is... If I had a dollar for every gender that there is, I'd have 2 dollars."
"[first day working at the pizzeria] Me [cheeks full like a hamster]: boss, we've run out of everything"
"What do you call a man that states the obvious? A man that states the obvious"
"Wanna hear a joke? Serving sizes"
"What did Hitler say when he was asked where he would like to sit? He said ""Mein Kampfy chair."""
"Fight Club, but instead of blowing up all the financial institutions, they reset all twitter follower counts back to zero."
"Romeo possum: [kissing] You're so hot Juliet possum: [plays dead] Romeo possum: Not cool, babe"