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Joke of the Day

"You could call a woman beautiful 100 times and she'll never remember it. But call her ugly once and she'll never forget it. You know why? Because an elephant never forgets."

"If Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus was written today... The solar system would need more planets for the title."

"Sometimes this earth seems so crazy to me. But I guess I should expect it from a bipolar planet."

"I'm not a jealous person but seriously, if you star her tweets one more time I'm going to squeeze the balls of this vodoo doll so hard..."

"Shout out to all the girls that got pregnant last night and don't know it yet"

"Sex on the beach means sand everywhere. You just do not want extreme exfoliation in some areas."

"I look at beautiful girls the same way I look at traffic. Meaning that I'm stuck and going nowhere with them"

"Why did the accountant go crazy? He started to hear invoices in his head."

"The other day I was mocking my wife, ""Why do you wear a bra? You've got nothing to put in it.""...... Fucking bitch replied, ""You wear briefs, don't you?"""

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