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Joke of the Day

"Thanksgiving regret: no one at dinner wanted to talk about why the family members on TV's ""Dinosaurs"" were all different species of dinosaur"

"What do you call a stereotypical flan? A quiche"

"I saw a French rifle on eBay today It's never been fired but I heard it was dropped once."

"People say you are what you eat... So you're a dick."

"How many cuckolds does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Somebody else does the screwing for 'em."

"Q1: What vehicle does T-Rex use to go from planet to planet? A: A Dinosaucer"

"I stepped on an almond. When I looked down to see what it was I thought 'Awe damn. I busted a nut.'"

"How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They don't change it. They just beat the room for being black."

"[flashback to 1st date] *cuts round hole in bottom of popcorn Me: Popcorn? Her: No thanks. (Mom reaches from row behind) ""I'll have some."""

"My home pregnancy test came back negative. I guess my house is just getting fat."