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Joke of the Day

"What is the best vegetable delivery vehicle in the world? An ambulance"

"My boss just sent me the heart eyes emoji. Since we're clearly being honest with each other I replied with a monkey with a gun to its head."

"Whats the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay $100 to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"I've never literally been tortured but I have walked behind old people when I was in a hurry."

"The movie industry has been irresponsible in the way it has glamorized getting splashed by a passing car."

"Hey guy's I'm the titanic I would like to nominate all of my passengers and crew to do the ALS ice bucket challenge, you have 24 hours!"

"""I don't mean to tell you how to do your job, but..."" People who are found buried in the woods"

"My family has a genetic predisposition for diarrhea. Runs in our jeans"

"What do you get from a cowmedian? Cream of Wit!"

"Gay jokes aren't funny Cum on guys..."