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Joke of the Day

"If a parsley farmer falls behind on his taxes, does the government garnish his wages?"

"5-year-old: I can't finish my lunch. I don't feel good. Me: OK, then no ice cream. 5-year-old: I'm sick, not dead."

"What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months? I think we should sea otter people."

"What did one snowman say to the other? ""Can you smell carrots?"""

"Why does Leonardo DiCaprio love his fast car? Because he got an award for revvin' it."

"Doc: Your insurance won't cover it all. Me: What if I sewed myself shut? Doc: Suture self."

"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Follow the fresh prints."

"I bought a book on how to build stairs Its a step by step guide"

"Sex in the morning I bet it has been up here before, but I felt that it had to be out here again. Sex is one of THE best things to wake up to.... Unless you are in prison"

"Apparently its true. Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor bastard."