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Joke of the Day

"Fat, single and ready for a pringle!"

"What did the horse say to the other horse? Hay,I thought you knew horses couldn't speak!"

"An elf walks into a bar. (LOTR) The hobbit laughed and walked under it."

"What do you call a group of security guards in front of a Samsung store? Guardians of the Galaxy."

"I asked my gf to get the paper for me... ...She said ""Don't be silly, borrow my iPad"". That spider never knew what hit it."

"Turns out, humans aren't the only ones who have trouble with homonyms. My dog keeps saying ""rough"" instead of ""ruff""."

"How do you detach frogs leg You Ribbit"

"Guess what I got asked at the hairdresser's earlier. Fucking everything."

"PRIEST: In the beginning there was the word ME: capsicum P: no M: tumescent gerund caliphate P: stop trying to guess the word M: maelstrom"

"DOCTOR: Push again, the baby is- MOTHER: IS SOMETHING WRONG? DOCTOR: [holding phone] No, I just caught a Jigglypuff up in there."