155105

Joke of the Day

"I asked my gf to get the paper for me... ...She said ""Don't be silly, borrow my iPad"". That spider never knew what hit it."

"Nothing enrages me more than a pop-up ad that MOVES SO YOU CAN'T CLICK THE X."

"Little Jack Warner Sat in the corner A finger in every pie. He stuck in his thumb And pulled out a bung And said ""Lets all go to Dubai!"""

"Take Dr. Seuss, make him a black midget with chronic asthma and give him access to Urban Dictionary. Behold, Lil' Wayne."

"What do you call a Mexican who can't find his car? Carlos"

"Every time someone says, ""at least it's a dry heat,"" I want to stab them with a box cutter. *at least it's a short knife."

"""Your sense of entitlement is destroying our relationship"" *me to my dog while trying to eat without having to share."

"What do you call a stupid fish? A dumb bass I'll sea myself trout"

"If I was a Quidditch player I'd be the Seeker, because I'm really, really good at doing basically nothing until the very end of something."

"I'm in a band called ""Echoes"" You've probably heard us before."