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Joke of the Day
"My computer has a virus. It's called the common cold. It makes your computer freeze up."
Next Joke
"A grasshopper walks into a bar... ...the bartender glances at him and says: ""Hey! We got a drink here named after you!"" And the grasshopper says ""What, Larry?"""
"What do you call a Jew who gets beat by women? Bernie Sanders."
"A cannibal passed his friend in the woods."
"Why does a milking stool have only three legs? Because the cow has the udder!"
"Pretty sure that I could win any marathon in Kenya that is held on the exact same day as the Boston Marathon."
"You wouldn't believe how many laws I'm obeying right now"
"I asked my doctor where i should put my pants ""Next to mine"" was not the answer i was looking for."
"Her: What are your desires? Me: My desires are..[imagines having a talking Pug named Maurice that I watch Netflix with]...Unconventional."
"Kidnapping is the most misleading term ever I've had these kids in my trunk for an hour and I can't get them to stop screaming let alone nap"