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Joke of the Day
"I once tried to pick up a lady with a sausage joke.. ..I don't think it could have gone any wurst"
Next Joke
"GARY JOHNSON: let me debate, i wanna debate, lemme lemme MODERATOR: FINE! how will you deal with big banks JOHNSON: like...river banks, or"
"Don't give her a Fitbit for Mother's Day. I repeat, don't give her a Fitbit for Mother's Day."
"Went out last night and got really wasted. I woke up in the middle of the night next to some chick who was snoring and farting, so I knew I made it home OK!"
"How did the swordsman keep annoying r/jokes? Constant ripostes."
"Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory."
"How do you get a fat lady in a car? Piece of cake."
"I should buy my girlfriend a plunger for christmas because she loves to bring up old shit."
"I've been smuggling transvestites across the Mexican border. It's not easy being a drag mule."
"Thom Yorke's phone thinks someone is listening in on its calls... ...delusional iPhone."