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Joke of the Day

"Why do animal rights activists hate NASA? Because curiosity killed the cat."

"Who was Mr Rogers' weight lifting coach? Arnold Schwarzeneighbor (OC)"

"I'm going to the Kentucky men's basketball game vs Grand Canyon tonight I'm pretty worried, I hear Grand Canyon's really deep."

"yeah, we r a non-traditional family. instead of naming our dog, we let him name us. I'm Woof, this is my husband Woof, & these r Woof & Woof"

"What do you call a paedophile with no legs? A creepy crawly!"

"""I think we should stab other people."" - Masochists breaking up"

"Being illiterate and having a girlfriend would be easy. They'd be like ""did you get my text?"" and you could just be like ""I can't read."""

"I swear, if I go to read one more goddamn article and I click on it and it's a video, I'll... I'll... tweet about it."

"COP: You're allowed 1 phone call ME: I'm gonna call your mom & tell on you for arresting me COP: *nervously sweating* Why would you do that"

"TIFU by accidentally making a private message a public comment revealing my Jalapeno and Cheese Recipe. It was nacho business reddit."