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Joke of the Day

"My son found a SEVEN leaf clover on the neighbor's back porch! I don't have the heart to tell him that it's really a marijuana leaf."

"What do you call a fat person on a high horse? Ellen Pao."

"Instead of monitoring this call for quality purposes, how about you just listen to what I need and fix it."

"Why did the narcissistic cannibal end up in the hospital? Because he was so full of himself."

"Mom: how's therapy Me: ok. my anxiety is better Mom: great Me: yeah Mom: Me: Mom: so did u get the article I sent u about the flesh eating b"

"Did you hear about the crack addict that got trapped in a pyramid? He had to sarcophagi for the drug money"

"What Do You Call A Bad Mexican Restaurant? Shitpotle"

"I was tickling my brothers feet last night... ...and my mum woke up and had a right go at me. It was something about waiting until he's born first."

"What do you call a bad hairdresser who is also very expensive? A rip-off."

"Sign over the urinal in Dad's favorite bar We keep this restroom clean because we aim to please ... so, you aim too, please."