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Joke of the Day

"My French buddy keeps trying to get me to drink It's a lot of Pierre pressure"

"The day Adele decides to crowd surf is the day we learn who her real fans are"

"Does anybody want this last piece of rain forest?"

"To be a man is basically to watch a beautiful Rose go by and think, ""I want to fuck that in the butt"""

"I was asked to name my top 10 most favorite books. I don't have 10 so I just started naming insects."

"<job interview> It says here on your resume that you are a ""self-proclaimed man of few words."" Would you like to elaborate on that? Me: no"

"[in Starbucks] ""It's Ian with one i"". ""We only need your first name Mr Wivwanaye""."

"I wish I was as good at anything as Pitbull is at rhyming a word with itself."

"What do you call playing chess against yourself? Chessturbation."

"My girlfriend started reading Bill Cosby's biography... But it put her to sleep."