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Joke of the Day
"Why will the USA never go bankrupt? It will just host a telethon."
Next Joke
"I just stepped on a cornflake. Now, I am officially a cereal killer."
"Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex. "
"A nurse comes in and tells a doc... ...""there's a man in the waiting room that thinks he's invisible. What should I tell him?"" Doc says, ""Tell him I can't see him today."""
"Stephen Hawking can be pretty funny sometimes, But I dont think he could do standup"
"How did the rednecks find their sister? Pretty good."
"ONLY text me in an emergency. Like my car's shooting flames from the trunk, one of my exes dies eventfully, or if someone thinks I'm sexy."
"My computer keeps giving me an error message saying ""The Printer Can't Be Found."" Uh buddy it's RIGHT NEXT TO YOU, HELLO"
"Need to save money on car insurance? Flee the scene."
"[travels back in time to warn 12 year old me about playing video games too much] you become fat and lazy and-whoa Mortal Kombat 2 scoot over"