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Joke of the Day

"To be a man is basically to watch a beautiful Rose go by and think, ""I want to fuck that in the butt"""

"When ya leave Twitter it's called twittercide. What about Instagram? Instagramicide? IGicide? Instacide? Gramicide? Instadead? Instagone?"

"Why did the man sleep after being run over by a car? Because he got tired."

"How do you make a hotdog with a tree? You fold it"

"Did you hear about the mexican train killer? He had locomotives."

"*looks up ""how to disarm a bomb in 10 seconds"" on YouTube* *ad starts playing* *looks up ""how to disarm a bomb in 5 seconds""*"

"JIMMY THE BULB Q: How many old-timey gangsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: We ain't sayin' nuthin'."

"I often cry after sex. But in my defence, I use a pretty big onion."

"My wife told me to take all of her clothes off last night I was so embarrassed. I really wish she'd tell me when she was coming home early"

"Why can't melons have shotgun weddings? They cantaloupe"