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Joke of the Day

"A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's, she changes it more often."

"Let's Play Communist Monopoly! Oh wait..."

"My partner left me because of my pasta feeling fetish I'm feeling cannelloni right now..."

"I came up with a great joke about a boomerang but I forgot it. I'm sure it'll come back to me."

"nsfw: For the first time in a nominee debate, we know who has the largest penis."

"You know what I really like about you, girl? You're really down to earth. *waits for response, nothing. Goes to next tombstone* You know wha"

"If you want to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 9am, don't be open."

"There's nobody in this world who gives LESS of a FUCK about helping you and your problem than a person working in customer service."

"I have one friend who is very creepy and intense and whenever we take a photo together all I can think is ""this will be on Dateline someday"""

"What is the difference between a priest and a pimple? A pimple waits until you are 13 to come on your face."