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Joke of the Day

"You know what I really like about you, girl? You're really down to earth. *waits for response, nothing. Goes to next tombstone* You know wha"

"Calm down mechanic guy. Just here for an oil change. If I wanted to know about all the other stuff wrong with my car I'd turn the radio down."

"Cell division, explained: o 0 8 oo"

"Whats yellow and lives off dead beatles? Yoko Ono"

"What's in a tweet? That which you call your bowel movement, by any other tweet is still an odious hot mess."

"Some people say putting helium in animals is wrong, I say whatever floats your goat."

"A masochist walked into a bar But he was okay with it"

"Joke A dyslexic man walked into a bra."

"Cottonballs is a great example of something I would buy but not want as a nickname. Cinnamon buns, however... Credit Dymitri Martin."

"What makes teaching gender studies so great ? ready pool of girls with daddy issues"