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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard of divorced barbie? Her set costs $450. ...mostly because it comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, and one of Ken's friends."

"What is the dogs favourite city ? New Yorkie !"

"What is H.P. Lovecraft's cook book called? The Necronomnomnomicon."

"*wife spends all morning convincing son not to be afraid of the dentist* ""Dad are you coming too?"" Hell no dentists scare the shit out of me"

"When toasting the holidays Republicans ask for eggnog or mulled wine. Democrats ask for a ""Bud."""

"ME (having a disagreement with a friend): I'd like to speak to your manager"

"What does a red neck divorce and a burning meth lab have in common? Someone's losing a trailer. Edit: Because I fucked up."

"I donate money to single mothers going to nursing school... One dollar at a time."

"Why can't you lift weights on Monday? It's a week day."

"CW: Have you had 5 guys? Me: *blank stare* That's kinda personal don't ya think? And that's when I found out it's the name of a burger joint"