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Joke of the Day

"CW: Have you had 5 guys? Me: *blank stare* That's kinda personal don't ya think? And that's when I found out it's the name of a burger joint"

"How many redditors does it take to post a joke to /r/jokes? Only one. **/r/Jokes** is **widely known** to be a **breeding ground** for new, **original jokes**."

"When you criticize a person, walk a mile in his shoes... then you'll be a mile away and in his shoes."

"I think I'm going to give away my old Dyson vacuum cleaner. It's just collecting dust."

"What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming up over the hill? ""Here come the elephants up over the hill!"""

"What is the name of the guy with no body and no nose? Nobody knows."

"*A burlap bag is pulled off your head, a bright spotlight is causing you to blink* WHERE DOES THE ARCHIVED MICROSOFT OUTLOOK EMAIL GO."

"Junkie grandson : Grandma,grandma did you see my pills I left on the table ? Grandma: F*ck the pills,did you see those dragons in the kitchen ?"

"Jennifer Lawrence has said that those who saw her nude photos should cower in shame... ...I don't know about all that, but I did shower after I came."

"Make the little things count, teach midgets math"