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Joke of the Day

"Scientists have invented a way to send messages to alternate universes... ... they are calling them ""parallelograms""."

"You see, the thing about dark humor is... it's a lot like food. Not everybody gets it."

"It's sad that the only thing great about my job is that my chair spins -__-"

"SON: *first word* momma. MOM: DID YOU HEAR THAT? ME: *distracted by the faint song of an ice cream truck* He never comes down our street."

"The best joke ever... ...Reddit's servers!"

"""Dear NASA... ...Your mom thought I was big enough"" -Pluto"

"My top 5 exercises: -jumping to conclusions -flying off the handle -carrying things too far -dodging responsibilities -pushing my luck"

"What's long, hard and bendable and contains the letters p, e, n, i, s? Your spine Edit: Thanks guys, made it to the front page. Was my first joke and ~~penis~~ spine joke on Reddit."

"My favorite X-Men character is Nicki Minaj."

"Coining a new term. I hereby decree that from henceforth all comparisons made between two things for comedy shall be known as... ***a yuxtoposition.***"