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Joke of the Day

"WHAT IS SEX? HUSBAND: A minute of PLEASURE, then years of PRESSURE! WIFE: Moments of ECSTASY, followed by decades of SLAVERY! MISTRESS: Just stolen TIME, but never MINE! HOOKER: NEXT!"

"Why does my 4 year old son trigger my cars seat belt alarm but my 30 pack of beer doesn't? Because I buckle up my beer."

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards Because if they fall forward they fall in the boat dumbass."

"If a tiger goes to bite you, confuse him by french kissing him. You'll probably still die, but at least you got to make out w/ a tiger."

"What are the Rolling Stones better at than the Bee gees? Stayin' Alive"

"Yesterday my Korean friend died... He was So Yung"

"I can do something that Einstein can't. Breathe."

"I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. What a waste of thyme."

"Why didn't the motorcycle want to go for a ride? It was two tired..."

"(Grandpa joke) If seagulls fly over the sea, what flies over the bay? Bagels. I'll be here all night, people!"