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Joke of the Day

"i know why the new windows is windows 10 instead of 9.. its because seven eight nine. im so proud of myself"

"When I'm about to get in bed, I turn my light off and then run and jump into bed so that nothing gets me."

"How many extroverts does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's throw a party while we're at it."

"As an atheist, I often wonder : ""what would Jesus do ?"" and then I do nothing"

"me: How many calls do I get? cop: one me: What do you think is more likely? a lawyer delivering pizza or a dominos providing legal counsel?"

"Why couldn't Joe be friends with a double-amputee? Because he's lack-toes intolerant."

"I have to poop like the Joker... really, really bad."

"I don't remember 6th grade science being this hard. But then again, in 6th grade, I wasn't trying to do homework after 3 glasses of wine."

"Why don't the zebra and the lion like to play cards in the prairie? 'CAUSE THERE'S TOO MANY CHEETAHS!!!"

"Q: How many screenwriters to make ""Titanic"" a good movie? A: One more than they had."