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Joke of the Day

"Scared the postman by going to the door naked. I'm not sure what scared him more, my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived."

"How many Scientologists does it take to change a light bulb? None: the light bulb must find $80,000 to become clear, then it will have the self-determination to change itself."

"What does a gamer call the zombie apocalypse? The end of DayZ"

"There's 26 letters in the English language, combined to make millions of words, which are used to make infinite sentences for any event imaginable. . . Yet I see the same jokes posted every day."

"Why aren't pigs invited to black tie events? Haven't you ever seen pig's tie? It's filthy!"

"UCLA opened a new campus coffee shop It's called ""Brewins"""

"For sale: The entire Internet on 33,674,964,367 DVDs. Or without porn, on 54 DVDs."

"What is a neckbeard's favorite color? M'genta"

"They say men are 3 times as likely to be struck by lightning than women Because lighting is 1/3 as likely to strike in the kitchen"

"What did the doctor say to the short guy in a hurry? You're going to have to be a little patient."