102776

Joke of the Day

"Scared the postman by going to the door naked. I'm not sure what scared him more, my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived."

"Oklahoma State's student union got shut down today because of a gun threat It turns out it was just a calculator. Don't people know that a calculator is for math deduction not mass destruction?"

"Did you hear about the guy who died of an epileptic fit? He had a very flashy ending"

"A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job."

"Since the pharmacy keeps making it harder to buy decongestants, I've just started making them at home from crystal meth."

"When your mate says his name is Stephen with a 'ph' to the cashier and he gets his Starbucks cup back reading 'PHEVEN'. That."

"What do you call it when a girl named ""Sandy"" Punches someone? Sandy hook."

"What did the fisherman do on his date? Netfish and krill"

"Yo Momma So Fat Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, ""I need your weight not your phone number."

"Gin & Tonic: 91 calories. Banana: 105 calories. Choosing the healthy option: Priceless."