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Joke of the Day

"The Story of the Old, Empty Barn There was nothing in it."

"I was just outsmarted by a revolving door but sure, I'll be your baby's godmother."

"My stalker just threatened to kill herself if I can't love her back. It's nice when problems resolve themselves."

"What service did Michael Jackson use to do his taxes? Pay-To-File"

"Would you like to hear a joke? The republican primary debate."

"Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they don't C#"

"I think we should elect Bernie. When Isis hears a Jew is president they will all have heart attacks and die."

"[principal's office] ""Your child's previous school indicates you're a bit of a helicopter parent."" Velociraptor: That's got to be a typo."

"For every 10,000 references to incest in the GOT books George RR Martin gets to add another R to his name. (He was born Geoge Matin.)"

"Mulder: we're trapped with ghosts in the stomach of a metal worm. Scully: those are just people, Mulder. We're on a train."