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Joke of the Day

"My stalker just threatened to kill herself if I can't love her back. It's nice when problems resolve themselves."

"Two things I hate: 1) People who form negative opinions of celebrities based only on what they see or hear on TV. 2) Justin Bieber."

"Your Google search history is the real you."

"I recently got to college and I'm not sure why everyone's talking about Addy. Rune is so much better."

"What do you call it when 4 giraffes collide? A giraffic jam!"

"Why are pigs such great football fans? They're always rooting."

"When Thatcher ruled it was Thatcherism! Does that mean we now have Mayhem?"

"My university offers sex education lessons.... Guess I should sign up for intercouses."

"What is the similarity between Election and Erection? The words election and erection are spelled similarly. They both have the same meaning too: a dick rising to power."

"Even at my age, I can still turn a lot of heads. It's mostly to see where the smell is coming from though."