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Joke of the Day

"How do you circumcise a hillbilly? Kick his sister in the jaw"

"""If she never used dial-up Internet she's too young for you bro"""

"If I had a dollar every time Trump said something stupid. I would have a small loan of a million dollars."

"She's marrying HIM?! TODAY?! *cut to me sprinting across town to stop the wedding but I see a good dog at the park and pet him instead*"

"I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it."

"I'm on a roll tonight! Whoops! Never mind, it was just a muffin."

"Dude the goverment isn't spying on you. You're not interesting *meanwhile in a secret base* ""dont let him say that to you. You're amazing"""

"What does the day of election and Taco Tuesday have in common? So much shit is going down today."

"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing, they were both stuck-up bitches"

"Got a $100 Nike gift card Can't wait to buy that one pair of socks"