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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a man in the ocean with no arms or legs? Bob."

"There's a book about how the Roman Emperor Augustus was really buff and into weightlifting... It's called *The Guns of Augustus*"

"I'm like a single electron... Sometimes, when no one is watching, I interfere with myself."

"Sex like me is like 'The Mermaid Joke' on /r/jokes right now. Hot, bloody, and it ends with a dead cow."

"Did you hear about the camper who refused to wake up? He was intent on sleeping in."

"Why do we cry..... When it's the onions that are being hurt?"

"Why did the dentist divorce the manicurist? She tried to stick her finger in his cavity."

"I let a Jehova's Witness inside the other day and asked him, ""what now?""... He replied, ""I'm not sure, I've never gotten this far before"""

"""My bad"" and ""I'm sorry"" mean the same thing Unless you're at a funeral."

"What happens when you get too much sun exposure in Switzerland? You get a sun *Bern.*"